


Charlie Is Bad Under Pressure (Or: Most of The Gang Finds Out)

by Missy



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Everyone Finds Out, Everyone Has Issues, F/M, Getting Together, Humor, Romance, Secret Relationship, Yuletide Madness 2015, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 03:36:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5523968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They keep it a secret at Dee's insistence.  But, like every other falsehood they've tried to keep, the truth tumbles out.</p><p>(Another "The Gang Misses The Boat" post-episode AU)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Charlie Is Bad Under Pressure (Or: Most of The Gang Finds Out)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Marks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marks/gifts).



It’s her idea to lie. HE doesn’t know why he says yes – no wait, he totally does, she brings him a cake, a bottle of whiskey and a couple of joints. So he goes along with it at first, because she makes it cool and fun and…here’s the weird part, he likes her.

Like really likes her. Like-likes her. Likes her maybe, just maybe, more than the Waitress. He can’t even really admit that part out loud yet, but he’s starting to feel like it’s true.

Here’s the thing about Dee – she’s a mess. He’s a mess too, though on most days he’s barely aware of how big of a mess he can be. It’s easy to be a mess together with her, because she makes being fucked up fun. She believes in his weird ideas, she has faith in his talent. For the first time in a long time, he believes in someone else’s talent. He thinks, maybe, maybe, when he looks at her. It’s Dee; she’s always been there, but never this close to the core of him, never.

When he thinks. And when he’s not imagining himself ruling a tiny extermination empire or is spending his time licking glue traps or writing music or trying to find ghouls in the back of his closet, he’s considering her.

But then the tricky part sets in – they can’t say anything. If he says something Dennis will lose his mind and probably cut his gizzard out. Charlie wants to keep his gizzard – he has no idea where it is but he’s pretty sure it’s important. But then there’s Dee. And Dee – she’s growing on him, like the fungus he once had on the bottom of his foot. Like a planter wart or something that’s really sharp stuck in his gums…wait, he’s getting off track. 

And he really needs to stay on track. He won’t let himself screw this one up.

 

*** 

 

It’s another Friday night and they’re sitting around Paddys getting wasted with Mac and her (their – kind of sort of) father when Frank starts watching him in a funny way. He starts drinking more to compensate for the weird feeling in his chest, but Frank wasn’t about to stop watching him.

“So how’s that weather?” he asks eventually.

“EVERYTHING’S SUPER COOL I HATE DEE WE AREN’T DOING IT ALL THE TIME, CAN I HAVE ANOTHER BEER?”

“You fucking ass-faced idiot,” Dee mutters under her breath, shoving him lightly. She pulls out the vodka and starts pouring shots – she and Charlie down theirs but Mac ignores his and Frank nurses it.

“You’re fucking your sister?!” Mac asks. “I hope you enjoy burning in hell, Charlie…”

“They’re not really brother and sister! I told you, there aren’t blood ties. And it’s not like I raised them together.” Frank shudders. “Hoo boy there’s another mental image to shove down. Forget the vodka - gimmie some whiskey, Deandra.”

“Get it yourself,” she says. “I’m going to go to the movies with my man.” 

Charlie’s brow furrowed until she smacked his shoulder. “YOU, dumbass! I’m talking about you!”

“Oh! I’ve never been somebody’s…MAN before, Dee. Geeze, this is a lot of pressure…”

“Shut up and get the door for me.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Yuletide!


End file.
